Fuzzy Crystal Ball

• btw guys, you remember I did GYLC when I was in Grade 12? So this girl I was with then, XXXX, she just spent her summer travelling on her own to Nepal, Pakistan and Jammu (in India) for a uni research project on theatre groups and how plays build communities; she was given a grant by her uni, and some other cool programs, and her blogpost is amazing. I feel like she's about todo some AMAZING things in her life, and I feel uselss
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  22:27

  Actuallly she has a wordpress

  and just wow

  like MashAllah

  she's so smart and so very lucky

  I mean why am I comparing myself and feeling meh

  I'm lucky that I even know what an internet is. It's so easy to look at other people and feel unsatisfied about life. She's pursuing a degree in Foreign Services, with a concentration on Human Rights and Culture apparently

  Why didn't *I* think like this when I was 18 and trying to decide what to do with my life tongue emoticon I guess part-time social justice issues-person is what I'd be doing.

  I've been thinking about my career you guys

  The more I think about it, the more I can see myself doing something on my own (as in business) as opposed to actually working someplace
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  22:35

  
  

  and even if I do work somewhere, what will I even do? I LOVE Finance as a thing to study and work on, but the kind of job I want is so far and few. I can focus on other stuff, I guess--but what? I don't even have a passion, I just have lots of interests, like drama, and languages, and charity/volunteerism, the FREAKING PODCAST tongue emoticon
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  22:35

  
  

  we should work on the stuff RIGHT NOW! Like RIGHT NOWWW~~

  FInalize names and get a Facebook page, and have a photoshoot as SOON as I get home wherein we can edit just our sillhoutes or something

  My biggest problem is, what if I start working and then I HATE it? D: Okay I REALLY hope the guy I'm marrying is a loot more stable and well-settled and wouldn't mind if I just indulged in these interests and took care of the kids and stuff

  like I can TOTALLY be a mom

  But I can't ASPIRE to be a mom!

  But I WANT to be an at home mom that does interesting stuff, as opposed to a working mom and that doesn't have enough flexibilty to take careof her kids

  I mean flexibility in terms of time

  I don't want nannies

  I want three kids ALL to myself, and I can take them on field trips after school based on whatever they're learning in class and just get them interested in EVERYTHING so they can also be smart and wonderful citizens of the world

  I feel like I know what I wantmy kids to be like more than what *I* want to be like

  ugh